We've all heard the scare stories about North Korea: the homemade nuclear arsenal built while their people starve and then aimed imprecisely at the rest of the world, a 
leader so deluded he makes L Ron Hubbard look like a man excessively overburdened with self-doubt and their deep-seated belief that foreign capitalists will invade at any 
moment and steal all their bauxite.
The popular portrayal of this Marxist nation is something like one of the more harrowing episodes of M*A*S*H, only with the cast of wacky characters replaced by twitchy, 
heavily armed Stalinist meth addicts
Cracked would like to take a moment to celebrate the good things about North Korea though, the things that the country's enemies prefer to suppress as part of their politically 
motivated jealousy. Like how no different to you and me, there's nothing every North Korean likes more after an 18 hour shift at the phosphorus plant than a nice beer to go with 
his dried fish ration. Ever attentive to its people's needs and in the twinkling of a decade, North Korea's leadership bought, disassembled, transported and rebuilt a British 
brewery in order to discover and reproduce the secrets of beer and then brew the sweet nectar for its hardworking people, up to 18 bottles at a time. And with minimal fatalities. 
When was the last time YOUR leader got a beer for YOU, American? (NB do not answer this question if you are Henry Louis Gates).
Or how about the fried chicken restaurant that downtown Pyongyang boasts? Yes real chicken, fried and then delivered to your sleeping cube, with optional beer if you like! You 
don't even have to remove the feathers or pull out the gizzard yourself. Mostly. Americans must eat their fried chicken from a bucket, like swine, sold by a company so secretive 
that even the very blend of seasoning used is intentionally kept from them. And they call North Korea paranoid?
And how many nations would entertain the syphilitic, bourgeois ramblings of Bill Clinton let alone permit him anywhere near their proud womenfolk? Only wise Kim Jong Il could see 
past Bill's many, many imperfections and treat him with the pity and kindness he deserves, accepting his feeble pleas to pardon the American spies rightly convicted of photographing 
the nation's sensitive beetroot fields.
